A Trip to Pandora's Box

This post is about an actual event in my life!



   This may seem like an odd title, but we'll say that it is definitely not what it sounds like. It was odd for me, or as the title says, a trip to Pandora's Box for me. I can best explain it by saying that I am a pretty boring guy. I am fine with that. It is just who I am. I have done some crazy things in the past, but at 31, the craziest it can get is still pretty banal when you think of crazy people or crazy acts. I am a man of habits. Many of you, will say this is the biggest understatement of 2011, but it is the truth. I wear the same things everyday. I do the same things everyday. I basically eat the same things each day. I would not be hard person to predict what I was going to do next. If fact, maybe you should try this, you might win some money or some other type of prize. For example, my students could say, "I'll bet you twenty-five cents that Mr. Dark will wear a bow tie today." They would probably win themselves 1/4 of a Cold Coke. Or my track team could say, "I'll bet you your lunch Mr. Dark wears that stupid, white marathon hat today to practice." Then that kid would be on his/her way to feeling way too full for 5th Period. All I am really trying to say is that I am very predictable. Don't say, "duh".

 This weekend, it rained, and rained, and rained. I got several things accomplished inside, but really wanted to get outside, but couldn't. Mel and I began to get stir crazy. I blame it on the coffee and the rain. Mel blames Jack who ate through her red rug. We decided to get out. We had three choices: go to Madison, Ga, stay home and watch Netflix till our eyes hurt or Jack Bauer died, or go to Atlanta. We decided that Madison might not be such a good idea in the rain and that Jack Bauer has already died, but then came back to life in order to save America. So, going to Atlanta was our only choice. And that we did.

 After we made our decision, we got ready very quickly. It was already Saturday afternoon and daylight was burning. (Really it looked like it was after 6 pm and it was still raining.) I took a quick shower, began getting dressed in my daily uniform (khaki pants, undershirt, some type of colored shirt, argyle or wool running socks, etc.) when something caught my eye: my lone pair of jeans. This is where my trip to Pandora's Box began.

   The reason this is funny is that I don't wear jeans. They are hot. They aren't comfortable to me. They are too tight when you first put them on. And I just love a good pair of khaki pants and have since I was 14 and wore my first pair of Gap khakis. I know what this makes me and I'm fine with it. I have tried giving up jeans since I was 14. However, this is easier said than done. People are always seeing that I don't wear jeans and then feeling weird about it and then giving me a pair or making sure I buy a pair. I tried wearing corduroy pants, but people were not impressed with my compromise. What can I say, I'm not Henry Clay. I'm the guy with a closet full of khaki pants and plaid shirts.

    I actually didn't wear a pair of jeans from the time I was 24-30. It was a good time in my life. This all changed last summer. I had to (if you are my mom, please read this is as "got to") get a pair of jeans for a family picture. It was June. We were in Florida. It was on the beach. The temperature was right above searing and right below plasma. We made it through. We now have some great family pics. The above pic came from that time. We'll say it was worth it. I survived. Mel was gracious enough to go to Old Navy with me and help me try on all the different types of jeans, hold in her laughter until we were done, and only called me George Strait once or twice. (A weird fact is that the first time I took Melissa somewhere, I wore jeans and a football shirt untucked. Weird!) Why are there so many types of jeans? They all basically look the same and jeans are jeans. I know the answer. Just give me some slack. I don't understand wanting to wear a pair of jeans or rushing home to put on my comfy jeans. I wear comfortable khaki pants. They are like that all day.

  Anyway, to make a long story a tad bit shorter, I put the jeans on. I walked downstairs and Mel was sitting on the couch. I try to pretend like everything was normal. Mel noticed the jeans right away. She laughed. And she laughed, And then she laughed some more. I then decided to go with it. So, I wore the jeans for the whole rest of the day. Mel laughed each time she saw me. I pretended that I wear jeans all the time. So, be aware of the next time you see me or talk to me. I may say or do something crazy. I may suggest we go get Chinese. You may see me in the Gap looking at the jeans. You may see me getting pumped up about about a football game. I may try wearing cotton running socks. I may request yogurt over ice cream. I may listen to something besides NPR on my way to work and something besides AM-conservative radio on the way home. I may start drinking Powerade. Who can know? They say that once Pandora's box has been open, one can never know what is coming at you next. Heck, I may even be found reading a Nick Spark's book.

You better watch out,
   David