...Truth be told, I dislike the break room more than any other room I have ever been required to spend time in, in my whole life. It is a place of silent torture. I dread going there, but we aren't supposed to go anywhere else during our breaks, or I would. I used to hang out front and watch people coming and going and try to imagine where they came from and where they were going, but my supervisor said it looked wrong; so I quit. I then tried hanging out back, but the store backs up to a vacated Wal-Mart building and it gets the best of me, so I don't go there either. There are too many reasons why I hate going to the break room, but the main one is that I really dislike pretending I'm tired from doing nothing all day or that my job description should require less and should include more pay. I hate sitting there pretending I am solving world hunger and finding a cure for diabetes when all I am really doing all day is selling vacuums and mower parts. I hate all the small talk. I hate how people get so riled up about things that really have nothing to do with them, but that is how it goes. People, at least the ones I work with, love becoming consumed with everything that surrounds their lives. It helps them forget their own, I guess. It makes sense, but I don't do that. The only thing I don't get is that if you hate your life so much, then, why don't you change it. We do that with most everything else. I changed mine. It was like changing shirts or the t.v. channel. It just hurt a little, but the pain didn't last too long. It has been dulled along with my imagination.
Now, believe when I say I don't mind talking, but its the small talk that really gets to me. I don't care too much about politics. Can't think of a lot that politicians do for me or vice versa. I don't care too much about television shows. Can't think of much that t.v. has given me except to highlight my loneliness and my lack of possessions. I don't care too much about sports. Can't think of a lot that the pro players do for me. My line I always go to that gets a couple laughs every now and then is that I will start caring about whatever their talking about when they start mailing me a paycheck for caring. I used to swing by the convenient store on the way to work every morning and read the headings to all the top stories in each section of USA Today in order to stay relevant, but I don't do that anymore. It helped because people don't get any deeper than the headlines, but it got exhausting. However, the longer I work here, the less I feel like I have to try to be relevant in conversation. I know this makes me sound weird, but its not that I hate talking, but I hate the small talk. It makes me feel like I am about to suffocate. Maybe this makes me weird, that's fine. It wouldn't be the only thing people have said that is weird about me.
I'm not complaining about anything, of course. I'm only telling you about how I think. I hate complaining and those who are always doing it. Now, don't get me wrong, I only used to do it all the time and now I'm sick and tired of it. It didn't really get me anywhere. Well, I say that, but it did get me home a little more quickly because I was so bitter about how everything has turned out and how unfair life has been to me, but home is no place to rush back to. I live alone.....
Be on the look out for Snippet 5, (Starting to feel like the singer who put out the hit, "Cha, Cha Slide", who for the last 13 years has been promising a remix, but I have yet to hear it. Sorry.)
David
No comments:
Post a Comment