A Workman's Dream--Snippet 2

...I work at Sear's and Roebuck. Its not such a bad job, but it isn't exactly what I'd dreamed of doing long ago when dreams were realities and realities were strangers only to be feared in the darkness of night. I guess that isn't what you're supposed to do. They say you're supposed to enjoy the present or you'll miss it, but I don't think whoever said that lives near me. I know people judge me by my vocation. I can see them looking at me, then at my name on my shirt, and then lastly at the silly shirts we all have to wear. Then they look past me as if their minds have come to some logical conclusion about me and how all my hopes, dreams, and desires have brought me to this place of work. But they do not know me and never will. There is this great yearning in me that they will never, never ever understand. It drives me to come to this place each day because most of those who judge me could never work more than a week here being treated the way I am. Many of you will think that is what this is all about, but to be blunt, it may be that you do not even understand yearning in itself; at least the yearning that is inside me. It is not different from what lives inside you, but mine has been something to me like being nauseated. It has driven me to look far past what I wanted to see. It has sent me on journey after journey, but this moving about will cause the rest of you to think that this is what I'm really trying to talk about and you'll brush it aside and say that I'm just restless, or even worse that I just like to travel, or that I'm just not comfortable with being in one spot, but those who think that are even worse to me than the others. I long to be still. To revel in a universe that swirls around me while I am moving; cirlces within circles, moving, rotating, axis within an axis, round and round till I forget where it started. I long to be the axis instead of on the outside of a wheel, but this is not what is set out for me. I have been given this unquenchable yearning. I have tried to kill it, but it will not leave me or let me leave it. It is as much a part of me as my heart that pumps the red blood through my veins. It is in there with all the rest of me. I can feel it move around in me. It is unquenchable. It is the force behind all of my stories. It is my story. It is a story of yearning, but it didn't start out to be this way. It couldn't have. I am 30 years old and I work at Sear's...

Hope you enjoy a little more. More to come.
   David