A Workman's Dream--Snippet 3

...I try to be positive about my life. Its hard, but that's what they say you're supposed to do. Or at least that's what the magazines in the break room say. Some of those magazines spend a lot of words talking about finding purpose and your place in the world. To be honest, I got into all of that last year. I even hitched a ride from one of my co-workers to the local bookstore and bought several books about purpose and having life goals. I quit after the third one though.They all started sounding the same and I just started feeling foolish for wasting my money on them. Well, it was more anger than direct foolishness. Fools don't know better, but I should have. I was actually pretty angry about the whole thing for several days because I didn't have any real goals or purpose in life except getting to work on time and making it to payday every two weeks, but all of that anger got transferred to the books themselves because there are few things worse than paying for someone to tell you something you already know. However, all of that fisseled out in a couple of days. I even went as far as to write out a couple of goals I made up to fill in one of the workbook sheets that came with one of the books. I hung them up next to my bathroom mirror. They're still there, but I know them by heart, so I don't look at them anymore. I made them up. They still feel fake and don't think they ever won't, but I don't have the heart to take them down; even realists dream when no one is watching or listening.
      I guess the only thing I really learned from those books is that if I wanted to write a book that sounded almost identical to one that already exists, it'd probably sell a million copies, but I don't want to do all those news shows. I can just see the captions now. I'd be up there talking all this junk about whatever my book was about and how it is so new and groundbreaking and below me on the screen it would flash that I used to be a Sear's employee, but now I was some big-time writer. Then they'd ask what was next for me and I'd probably forget my new life and answer something dumb about how April is our half price month on all our lawncare products. I'd rather be dead or forgotten than an overnight sensation and that's what I'd be. My whole story would be one of those flash in the pan, heartwarming, rags to riches stories that everyone at work talks about during our breaks or lunch. I don't really listen to them anymore. That's why I started reading the magazines. That's really the only reason I look at them because if I sit real quiet and pretend to read, then I don't have to chime in with some cliche that everyone shakes their heads to and then goes back to work feeling  all cheery and wishing the rags to riches story was ours. I can't think of many things I hate more than that....

Be on the lookout for Snippet 4,
   David