Weird Things My Dogs Do

This is Lady:

And this is Jack:

  They are both my mine. I have had Lady since 2003. I needed a friend and found myself at the pound. She looks a lot like a border collie, but isn't. She has purple spots on her tongue, so I know she has some chow in her. And by the looks of it, it seems Chow Chow owners in America need to keep better track of their dogs; a lot of stray dogs with purple -spotted tongues. Lady is a sweet dog and has been a great friend to me in some very lonely times. She is also very smart and deceitful. She doesn't do any tricks because she thinks they are stupid and for the stupid. She only plays one game and that is this really funny game of chase and you are always it. I still play it with her and end up looking like a big weirdo in our front yard. On one of the loneliest days in my life, she hugged me. I could retell the story, but most of you would think I was making it up, but you can't mistake a hug. It either is one or it isn't. Lady and I have lived in 4 very different places: Sorrento, Fl, Mentone, Al, Dothan, Al, and Macon, Ga. I had Lady before I was married and Lady didn't like Mel for the first year or so of our marriage, but they get along cozy now...well...cozy for Lady. Lady is not exactly the person you would assign any greeting duties to.

  Jack is a different story in about every way that can be looked at. He is a chocolate lab. Mel and I got him after we were married. We wanted a puppy. We looked into it. They are expensive. We canceled the want. We heard a sob story from a church member about having to put down a year old lab for doing some bad things: eating a glass bottle of Tabasco sauce, chewing a hole through a propane tank, ripping a faucet out of a brick wall, etc etc etc. Mel and I are suckers for the sob story. He pulled us in hook, line, and sinker. We drove over to their house. Picked him up, but not before he could knock Mel down a couple of times in their back yard. Lady has hated this moment in time even more than when I said "I Do". (Nobody puts Lady in the corner!) Jack is now 3 and is still very much a puppy. They say at 3 labs are suppose to settle down and mature. I guess we will have to wait till Jack turns 4 and has his Batman party likes he keeps begging for. (He loves trying to mimic Christian Bale's voice in the newest movies, he is forever saying little things like, "give me the bone!", or "drop the ball!") Anyway, Jack is always up to something and he is very good at getting my goat. He has chewed up about 12 grill covers, eaten numerous plants, two bicycle helmets, and loves to nibble on a good pair of wool socks. What can I say, he is a texture eater.

  This post is really just to let you in on a couple of weird things they both do. I love them both, but they are by far the weirdest dogs I have ever known or dealt with. Here are some of the weird things:

  * Jack turns every object into something to fetch: water bottles, socks, underwear, sticks, pine cones, apple cores, etc.

  * Lady will not eat out of a bowl, she just gets about 3-5 morsels and takes them elsewhere to eat.

  * Both Jack and Lady are terrified of the floor vent of our downstairs ac unit. This can be used or counted on as the only safe place in the house.

  * When Jack rides in a car, he always stairs out of the back window. Lady ducks when we go under bridges and refuses to sit down and not stare at the road ahead. She has fallen asleep in this position on several car trips.

  * Jack is a big dog, but loves getting in small places. Lady is a small dog, but only feels comfortable in wide open spaces and for this I blame the Dixie Chicks.

  * Lady has only been hurt twice in the seven years I have owned her. Once she sliced her paw on piece of glass while running with me and once she got hit by a car who drove out of control into our front yard. Jack gets hurt about once a week and I have a running tab at our local vet. He has gotten a piece of his ear removed by a raccoon, hit by a car, gotten kennel cough, has allergies, had an allergic reaction to something and his left eye got so swollen it almost shut completely, run into an electric fence that burnt a line into his forehead, etc. etc. etc. He is probably getting injured as I write this.

Well, as you can see these are all pretty weird and not all of the weird things about them. I love these dogs, but like I said, I am a sucker for the sob story and they both know that.

Until next time,
    David