Facing Some Beasts

As of recently, I have been secretly scared of two things which are one in the same. I am running (hopefully) my first marathon on November 13th of this year. It is the Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon in Ft. Oglethorpe, Ga. I signed up to run it last year, but after getting beat up by two, sixth-grade girls, I had to withdrawl and ended up only getting to run the half. (I wasn't really beat up, it was an Ultimate Frisbee game that had gotten way, way out of hand. And few people sacrifice for popsicles on a Friday afternoon like middle school kids.) It was sad and running the half was fun, but it was sort of like getting to go to Disney, but not allowed to ride the rides. I know some of you, if you are like my wife, would be just as happy, but I am only speaking for me. I am not truly happy till I am hearing about the Pirate's Life and how its for me and pretending to be scared in the dark while riding a roller coaster that feels faster than it really is going. (On a side note, in high school, I used to go to Disney all the time for a multitude of reasons. I once went to ride Space Mountain and they turned the lights on. It was so....so...so disappointing. I think I will post about some disappointments later.)
I know this post has been more about chasing rabbit trails instead of talking about being afraid, but rabbits are not scary. The two things I have been scared of are my marathon and doing my long runs. I have been telling myself that I really can't run that far and that doing my long runs would be miserable as well. The longer I am involved in running the more I fear any distance. I once read an interview about an elite runner and she said that at every start line she panics and wonders if she will be able to run the whole way. I laughed and thought it was one of the silliest things I had ever hear. How can someone who runs 120 miles a week worry about a 3 mile race? I didn't think it possible, but know it is me. I know that I can run a long, long way. I know I can run for at least 3 hours without stopping, but at the starting line of a recent 5K, I asked myself if I thought I could do it. I felt more no than yes. Too weird. I hope you are laughing at me like I laughed at her. No, I do not run 120 miles a week. No, I am not even close to an elite runner, but I have run more than 3 miles before, but I still thought about not being able to make the distance. It was a strange sensation.
Anyway, this weekend was about facing some of my fears. Yesterday after church, I changed my clothes and laced up my running shoes for the second time of the day. I walked down my stairs and stretched and then took off. I returned 2 hours and 24 minutes later. I had run 17 miles. I had stopped four times for less than a total of 5 minutes. Once to stretch, once to use the restroom, once to get a drink, and once because a guy that I started running with at mile 13 stopped to snag a drink from his wife. It was hard. It was long. It was 17 miles, but as I sat at the top of the concrete stairs that make their way up to my front yard from the road, I stood staring at one and both of my fears. I had run a long way. I had done it. I had run 21 miles in one day. I was tired, but not whipped out. My legs were sore, but not finished. I wanted water, but could have run another couple of miles without it. So...long story short. I am not too afraid of running a long way. And I am only a little nervous about my upcoming marathon. We will just see how Sunday goes when I need to run 20 miles without stopping. My tune will change I am sure and I know my pace will.

Running Against the Wind (like Bob Seger, but without the beard)
David