The Robber Bridegroom--A Book Review

 

  I am no fan of fairy tales. I know what this makes me. I just don't like how predictable they all are. You know what is going to happen even before you open the front cover. I also know that is the point. The fantasy of it all is that you can put yourself into one of the roles and then instead of some other princess or prince, it is you now and the story is your own.  I can see the joy in that. However, I was born a kill-joy and that is not my fantasy, but maybe it is also because I'm a guy. We don't want to be Prince Charming, but rather, we want to be Braveheart.

  However, this story, The Robber Bridegroom, is no regular fairy tale. Eudora Welty takes the plot of a normal fairy tale and she reworks it into something that was interesting and a joy to read all while not being wholly predictable. She does this using a cast of very odd, grotesque, and unique characters. She also sets the story in Mississippi and in Louisiana. Her princess is the daughter of a wealthy cotton farmer and an evil, ugly step-mother. Her prince is a thief who terrorizes people traveling on the Natchez Trace. Her other characters are human, but don't seemed to be because of deformities or other very real oddities. Welty also allows seemingly unbelievable things to occur right out in the open and you find yourself as the reader wanting to believe them and convincing yourself that, "truth really is much stranger and fascinating than fiction". And the way it is written allows one to feel completely wrapped up in the story and wanting several different story lines to unfold, but you are unsure about which way the story is going to go.

  What I liked best about the book was how the characters all evoke a definite emotion from you. You hate the step-mother. You both dislike and feel for the naive father. You cheer for the robber bridegroom, but also despise some of his actions, and ignore his profession. You laugh at the side characters, like Goat and Little Harp, as well as hate them. And lastly, you feel bad for Rosamond, Welty's princess, but at the same time wonder at her actions and find some of them annoying at times.  

    I would highly suggest this book. It is a good, fast, light read. It is also entertaining, which is one of the purposes for literature, right? I have read several reviews of the book on the Net and they all say that the story is stale and the characters are one-dimensional and static. I disagree, but what do I really know. I would encourage you to read this book through the eyes of an amateur reader. I think it would make the few moments you have to read before bed maybe the most enjoyable of your day. I think the reviewers forgot that Welty is a master storyteller and this is a great, original work of fiction.

David

Shin Splints--A Real Pain

     In the twelve or so years that I have been a runner, been around runners, coached runners, and paid attention to the sport of running, I have heard, seen, and experienced a lot of running-related injuries. However, no injury has been more prevalent than that of someone telling me they had to quit running or had to rest because of shin splints. I have never had shin splints (Knock on all the wood in The Smokey Mountains National Park), but have heard and seen how painful they are. I have seen them sideline even the hardiest of running folk. Shin splints can be a runner's worst nightmare.

     Whenever, I have a runner who gets shin splints or friend that has them, two questions always arise from our little conversations and they are: "How do I make the pain go away?", and, "How do I prevent this from ever happening again?". The answers are very simple, but many do not want to follow the advice given. So, this blog post will be some advice mixed in with all you have ever wanted to know about shins and shin splints for those who have never heard about them, for those who have heard about them, but wondered what they were, and those who lie awake at night trying to think of something else.

What is a shin?  

     Your leg is split into two main zones: the thigh and the shin. (I know it is much more complex, but we're keeping things simple.) Your thigh zone is on top and your shin zone is on the bottom. Shin splints occur in the shins. You can have them in both legs at the same time or you may only experience them in a single leg.

What exactly is a shin splint?

Shin splints is pain on the front of the lower leg below the knee and above the ankle. It can hurt over the shin-bone (tibia) or over the muscles on either side of the shinbone. Shin splints is also called shin pain.

Why am I getting shin splints?

   I hear this so often and the reasons are always the same. The usual cause is that the person went from doing no exercise or moving around to trying to make themselves run for miles and they usually do this on hard, concrete pavement. Well, here are some very common reasons why you are going through such pain:

1. Flat feet – most common cause under this category.
2. Over-pronation – generally a result of having flat feet; occurs when foot and ankle roll inward, causing a demanding stretch in the muscles of your lower legs.
3. Tight or stiff lower leg muscles.
4. Poor running form – leaning forward too much, leaning backwards too much, running with your toes pointed too far out, landing on the balls of your feet and not pushing off through your toes after each stride (too much ‘babying’ of the heel to toe transition).
5. Exercising on uneven surfaces.
6. Trying to do too much too soon.
7. Running, walking or exercising on hard surfaces too frequently.
8. Working out in inappropriate shoes or shoes that have lost their support/cushioning.
9. Too much uphill or downhill running.

How can I get rid of the pain?

  The easiest answer is to rest and ice your shins. You should ice them for 15 minute increments and then stretch slowly and easily. It would also help to wear compression socks or get them wrapped by a trainer. And you MUST take it easy.The biggest reason why you get shin splints is that most people ignore the importance of stretching before and after you walk or run. Remember also that it helps to stretch "warm" muscles. These can be acquired by doing a short warm up lap. And here is a diagram of some helpful stretches: 

   The biggest thing that I have learned over the years about injuries is that we all try to over do it everytime we walk out the door trying to maximize every workout. However, this is a terrible idea. Your body can really wear down overtime. Everytime you use new muscles or extend old ones, your muscle tissues acquire little tiny tears that take time to heal. A good workout schedule should include mostly easy days and even a full day off. To help you understand, Olympian Ryan Hall who holds the America record for the half marathon, usually runs races by keeping a 4:20-4:30 miles, but on his easy runs, he keeps the pace at 7:00-7:30. If you do the math, that means he is running a full three minutes slower or more! So, what does that say about your easy days. If an Olympian can take it easy, why can't we?

Hope this post was helpful and stay clear from the shin splints!

David

A Lost Decade

   "A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends."

      George Washington


     A cool, September morning ten years ago, found me rushing to get to ready to go to my 9 o'clock class; Twentieth Century Europe. It was one of those crisp, pre-Fall mornings when you open the windows and pretend Fall is already there. I had spent the morning running in the early morning fog and dew and it seemed like all was right. I got to my apartment, showered, dressed, and was eating breakfast watching the news when everything became not all right. I saw both planes fly into the towers and lost my desire to eat. I walked to my class dazed and zombie-like; what had I just watched? No good answers came to mind. (It seems I am still asking and no good answers have still come up.)
  
    I sat in the upstairs, lone classroom of the Mercer History Department, and acted like I was listening to Dr. Good answer meaningless questions about how the genocide in Darfur was not like the Armenian genocide. A quiet girl in the back asked if we could turn on a t.v. or at least talk about what had just happened. Dr. Good told her no and his reasoning was that he had wasted a whole day on the Oklahoma City bombings and in the end it was just the work of a fringe lunatic and he wasn't going to waste another one. So, we continued to talk about genocide and how they aren't all the same. I still disagree with about everything that was said during those wasted 75 minutes, but now that ten years have passed, I am glad he held us in there; protecting us from what we were about to have to walk out into: a new world where there terror became terrifying and evil took off it's mask and it's face was so much more scarier and worse than that: real.

   The rest of the day is a blur except that at 3 o'clock we had an assembly and I don't remember who spoke or what they said, but what I do remember is what another professor said to me. I sat next to Dr. Klingelhofer and told him how happy I was that I didn't have to get up and say anything and Dr. Klingelhofer told me something I will never forget. He turned sideways in his seat and stared me straight in the eye and said,

     "David, you are a true student of history, right?"
      "Yes, sir. I try to be."
      "I know you are. What happened today is bad, but our country has been through far worse than this. Tomorrow will come and we will be in it and it will need us. Hope is an empty vessel with no one to believe in it. Do you understand?"
       "Yes, sir. Thanks."...

  A full decade has passed and I still wondered and think of it all. It is weird to think that there are children who are walking around that this is all they have known, a country that is till trying to rise from the ash heap, but too irrationally civil and tolerant. The story of the great phoenix of antiquity never tells us how long it took to rise. We have forgotten how to wait. We have forgotten the silver lining in suffering. We have forgotten the taste of hard-earned laurels. We forget that the Revolutionary War lasted 8 years and we came within a fraction of losing. We forget that the Great Depression lasted longer than a year or even ten, that WWII lasted 7 and millions died and that the Civil War lasted 4 and hundreds of thousands of our own countrymen and women died. And that Pearl Harbor was just as frightening or actually even more since a whole nation attacked us, not just a faction from several. 

   I stood at a football game on Friday night and watched a multitude of red, white, and blue balloons and I wept a little. I take this country for granted everyday. I am complacent in my overwhelming freedoms. I don't want it to fly away like those balloons because I was too foolish and let it slide through my fingers. I don't want the next 10 to slip past like these last 10. I know freedom isn't free. I just wish it would cost me and I know that is a scary thought.

  Thank you men and women who protect me and this precious freedom everyday. I wish this didn't sound so cliche because I don't deserve it. You do. You have earned it.

   "We have too many high-sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them."

                          Abigail Adams

David

Some Hump Day Humor

  I don't usually talk much about my students, but I feel we all need a little laugh. Or at least I do. I usually refrain from this type of blog for a multitude of reasons, but some things are too good to keep to myself, so here are some things that my little earlobes have absorbed as of late:

  Two girls talking before class a few days ago:

"Oh, my god, how was your trip to the mountains?"
"It was AAmazing.."
"Where did you like go?"
"My fam always goes to Helen and I just love it."
"Oh my god, did you say Helen? I just love it there!"
"So do I, it is like my little piece of Germany right here!".....

A 7th grade boy talking to another 7th grade boy at his locker:

"Just look at my lunch, I can't believe my mom did this to me."
"Wow...a juice box."
"I know, it makes me feel so childish. It's not like I'm 12 anymore."
"I know right."...

I noticed a sleepy student this morning:

"You okay, Weston? You look a little tired."
"I'm exhausted."
"Rough night, last night?"
"Yeah, had to stay up all the way to 9:30 to finish some homework and my family got lost on the way home from the beach and I didn't get sleep till 10 on Monday."
"Sounds like a pretty rough patch."
"I know, I don't know how much longer I keep going on hardly any sleep."...

A 7th grade girl this morning at the lockers:

"Oh my gosh, has anyone had the oatmeal from McDonald's?"
A multitude of "yeahs"..
"Don't you guys think it is life-changing?"
"Yeah, definitely"....

And some regular questions as of late:

"Do you and your wife, like dissect things for fun at your house?"

"Do you sleep in a bow tie?"

"Do you just wear those glasses for fun? 'Cause I see you at cross country practice and you don't have glasses on."

"Do you and your wife like find things around your house to look at under the microscope just for fun?"

"Mr. Dark, did you know Garth Brooks was a progressive?"
"A progressive? Like Teddy Roosevelt?"
"No, like a liberal."
"Nope, I didn't know that."
"Yeah, he is a big liberal. I just don't know how a guy who sings, "Friends in Low Places", could be a liberal. Do you?"
"I'm not sure Ive ever thought about it like that before."
"Well you better. Before long all these country stars are going to be liberal progressives."
"Really?"
"Yeah, you just watch."....

   Well, I hope you are all making it through this Wednesday and finding something to smile about. If you can't, just look around.

David

A Change of Allegiance

   Mascots are a funny thing. Not funny in that laugh out loud way, but I guess some of them are that too, but what I mean is funny, in that strange, hard to explain way. I have a feeling that boys will understand this post a little more than girls will, but hopefully everyone will. It is really more about a feeling than something that is tangible.

    I feel that most of us have been taught how important loyalty is. Each of have talked to till we are all bright, blue in the face about acting unselfishly and how the "team" comes first. We have also been shown too many examples of the opposite of this and everyone telling us about these examples of disloyalty usually has on a very serious face and looks very disappointed and saddened. We have all been told that and made to believe that there is no "I" in team, but then we are patted on the back and told to, play our best, or, run our own race, or, show us what you've got to contribute, and then thrown into the game. This is where things get a little confusing. Then we add age and experience and things go from blurry to completely murky. Let me try to explain using my own life.

  When I was brought into this world, there only existed three possible mascots, I was born a Yankee, a Sooner, and a Dolphin. I didn't exactly know this, but it was something I would grow to understand and the teams would become apart of me. Things were easy then, but everything was about to change. My understandings of loyalty and allegiances were about to be stretched, warped, and changed.

 When I was a wee lad, my first sporting experience was that I was on the Lions t-ball team and yet, I was also a Tavares Elementary Patriot. I could keep it straight then though. They didn't seem connected. I was a Patriot on Monday through Friday, but Saturday mornings were reserved for being a Lion. And this stayed the same for the next several years. During this time, I also was a Buccaneer, Raider, Athletic, Cardinal, a Philly and numerous other teams, but I could still keep it pretty straight because I was still a Patriot on the weekdays and the others on Saturday morning. However, I could tell things were about to get a little confusing because my brother attended the local high school where he was a Bulldog. So, I could still keep it straight, but my allegiances were starting to feel a little spread out. I was to be a Patriot on Monday-Friday afternoon, on Friday night, I was Bulldogs, Saturday morning I was a Buc (or numerous other teams), and on Saturday afternoon I was Florida Gator, and on Sunday I was a Dolphin. Then came my 4th Grade year and things began to get a little weird.

  In my fourth grade year, my parents took me out school, brought me home, and for the next nine years, I was homeschooled. On Monday-Friday, I was without a mascot, which was fine with me, but I still had my Friday night team (Bulldogs), my Saturday morning teams, the Florida Gators and Oklahoma Sooners, and the Dolphins. And this scenario went on for many years and I got to feel very comfortable with my allegiances. There was only one major change and that was my older brother finished his time as a Bulldog and became a Baylor Bear. I lost my weekday mascot, and my Friday night team, but my Saturdays were full to the brim and Sundays didn't change. Then came the 9th Grade and I began my journey into the Twilight Zone of mascots and team allegiances.

  At the beginning of my 9th Grade year, the homeschool group my family belonged to formed a basketball team, adopted a mascot, and I tried out and became a Hawk. I know had weekday and night mascot. As a Hawk, I learned how to live and die as a Hawk . I learned about the glory of winning, the complete agony of defeat,  and the all-encompassing anger of a bad call or a selfish player. And I also learned that I was always a Hawk, not just at practice or during a game. However, at this time, I was still a Gator, Sooner, and Bear on Saturday mornings. On Sundays, I was still a Dolphin, but a rift was growing between my dad (my Dolphin connection) and Dan Marino, not a real one, but a problem of perception, which was so much worse. It was also during this time that Orlando added the Magic and I became Florida Marlin fan 9997. It was really starting to get complicated, I was starting to get confused, and the amount of fan paraphanelia was really starting to grow.

  I, then graduated and didn't stray far and became a Bear at a different school, but at least the mascot didn't change. My life became a little less complicated because my Sundays were freed up (Marino and my dad broke up), I left my Hawk days behind, Shaq lied to me (well, not exactly to me, but all of Orlando), the Marlins won the World Series, but then promptly sold its whole team, and my brother graduated and left me to be the sole Bear. I was still a Sooner, a Yankee, and a Gator, but on the surface, I spent the next four years pushing forward as part of the very vicious and competitive "Orange and Black" attack.

     Four and a half years flies by when you are a Bear, and it is here that I learned that being a Bear was not just a four year commitment, but I was to be Bear until I passed from this life. It was also during my Mercer days, that I also grew into more of an anything Florida fan. I guess this was because Mercer was in Georgia and they hated all things Florida and loved all things weird and strange. So, I discovered that it was just nice to watch a Florida team win. It felt like I was winning, even when the Gators, Bears, Marlins, etc weren't.

   After graduation, I discovered, that what they had been telling me was true and that I still felt like a Bear. However, things were about to take a very complex turn. I got a job as a soccer and basketball coach at the now defunct Blue Lake Academy and I became an Eagle. I won as an Eagle, I lost as an Eagle, went into the home of an opponent and won, and had the reverse happen. But it was at BLA where I learned that you were always an Eagle, which made it weird because I was also still a Bear, but on Saturdays, I was still a Gator, and on other days, I was still a Marlin. Then things got very weird.

    I got my first teaching job and became a Providence Christian School Eagle, which was weird because I had been an Eagle already, but this was a different Eagle and in a much different place. And being a BLA Eagle was so much different that being a PCS Eagle, but I tried to make the best of it and not shout go BLA when I was supposed to be cheering for PCS and I succeded most of the time. And so, I spent the next three full years living and dying as an Eagle. There were weekday night basketball games, Friday night football games, and Saturday morning XC meets. I got my XC runners to cheer for PCS, run for PCS, and live for PCS. We conquered and soared over some courses and meets and then there were times when the eagle was shot down and we crashed, but we were always PCS Eagles. But I was also still routing for the Bears, Gators, Marlins, and many other teams and to make things more complex, I got married to a girl from Georgia who brought her team mascots with her and I, now through some odd connections was a Brave, a Bulldog (or Bulldawg as they say in GA), and a Hurricane. I was starting really wonder who I was really routing for and when I was suppose to be cheering for them. I thought that things couldn't get weirder or more murky, but boy was I wrong.

  My wife and I then moved to the Peach State and I became a Viking at a new school, which I never did understand. (Vikings were never "Christian" and are known for doing all things not popular in Christian circles.) Well, needless to say, I drank the Red and Black koolaid and left behind the Eagle life and fully became a Viking. I, once again had a whole week team. I, once again was told that I was always a Viking (or a Vic for those of you female types). I, once again had a XC and track team to train in the ways of Vikingness. And train the children in the Viking way I did with my whole heart and did so for three years. I bled read and black. I then got traded. That was last May. I kept my paraphnelia, but had to give it back because the red and black didn't bring me joy anymore. It just got too weird. I moved on and left the Vikings behind. I was to be a Viking no more.

   It was also during these three years that I gave up the Marlins. They had changed. I didn't recognize them anymore. We parted ways, we both needed our space. I replaced them with the Braves. My wife taught me how to tomahawk chop and who Chipper Jones was. She also made me glad that Javy Lopez was long gone. But I was also still a Gator, a Sooner, and a Mercer Bear.

    Two weeks ago, I started a new job and with that new job came a new mascot. I am now a Ram. I forget sometimes and things become a little awkward. Let me explain, last week my cross country was halfway through a speed workout and my little runners started cheering for the last ones coming in and they kept yelling, "Go Rams, finish strong Rams" and all I was thinking was, "Who the heck are the Rams, we aren't". but then I caught myself and realized that we were the Rams. I was a Ram. And then again, last Saturday, I counted to three and went to cheer with the team and I almost yelled, "FPD win", but caught myself and yelled, "CA Rams". I have only been a Ram for 13 days. so I'm still learning how to be one, but it seems like it is a good life to be a Ram.

  So, I say all of this to say that mascots are a funny thing. And I often forget who I'm supposed to be cheering for because I have held allegiances to so many different teams. Do you ever get confused? Do you ever wonder how you can cheer for so many different teams?

Learning to bleed red and blue,
David